Frequently Asked Questions
Why has church conflict become such a major issue today?
Much of the church is not aware that they are in a fierce spiritual battle with the powers of darkness . The result is our defenses are down, the enemy is underestimated, and the people of God become vulnerable. Conflict is a strategy that he uses to paralyze and immobilize the church. There are those in the church that have a me-centered mind set, instead of Christ-centered. This is fertile ground for the enemy to plant seeds of jealousy and strife. On top of this, pastors have not been trained to deal with conflict, and are many times caught not knowing what to do. So they do nothing, hoping it will work itself out. This usually results in the problem growing out of control beyond the ability of the leadership to handle. This level of church conflict will result in a church split, or forced resignation of the pastor.
What can I do as a church member to limit conflict in my church?
The strength of the church is primarily determined by how much, or how little the individual member is committed to truly walking with God. It has always amazed me how just a few people can bring terrible hurt through church conflict. It is equally amazing how a few people can make a tremendously positive impact. Here is a list of things that will
help your church create an atmosphere where church conflict can't flourish :
1.) Be supportive of leadership. Make a decision that you will refuse to be involved in gossip and slander.
2.) Pray for the leadership, and each individual member to have wisdom from God. Also pray that your
church would not fall to the deception of the evil one.
3.) Support your church financially. Many times those who have given themselves to conflict withhold their
giving as a way to put pressure on the church. This is not only ungodly but increases the problem
because now on top of conflict problems there may be financial problems. As you continue to give you
are being part of the solution instead the problem.
4.) Attend meetings regularly. Absence is another way that people in conflict register their displeasure. Your
regular presence sends a message of encouragement not only to the leadership, but also your brothers
and sisters in Christ.
5.) Do not accept evil reports against people. You may be approached with a juicy story or bit of
information. This is part of the Devil's strategy to draw you into the fight. Don't fall for it.
6.) Make a commitment that you are going to see it through until the end. Do not bail out when it gets tough.
Keep the right attitude towards those who are stirring up strife. Pray for them.
7.) Guard you own heart diligently. Constantly examine your own attitudes, words, and even your thoughts.
When should a pastor resign?
One major mistake pastors make is to stay in a hopeless situation that will result in his forced resignation or even a church split. One way to avoid these things is to know for certain before you accept a pastorate that it is truly God’s will for you. Many problems are the result of simply being in the wrong place. What a horrible situation to find out your in the wrong place 6 months after moving your family across the country. But let’s assume that you were sure of your call, but now find yourself in a unbearable situation. What are your options? Resign and move on to another place thereby removing your family from constant stress, or stay and trust God to give you wisdom to change the situation.
First you must get before God and hear His heart above all else. He called you there, He is the only one who can release you. If you are released in your heart then make plans to leave honorably. Ask the board to give you sufficient time to arrange for the transition. Even if they seek your dismissal quickly they will probably be reasonable as long as they know you are on your way out. This will be much better for your family than a forced resignation, and better for the church than a church split.
On the other hand, if you know God called you there, and that He has not released you, then you must work in the situation trusting God to give you wisdom to resolve the church conflict.
What is the best type of church government?
There are several types of church government. Board/elder led, congregational, pastor led, or various blends of these three. We must accept that there are various forms of government structures used today by churches, and condemning certain types would create church conflict rather than heal it. The success and effectiveness of church leadership is not primarily dependent upon the type of church government structure. Any of these organizational formats can work. What is most important is how we live our Christian lives within the structure of the individual church.
A typical problem that pastors have is agreeing to pastor a church without fully understanding how decisions will be made, and how the government operates. Once they are moved across country they then are surprised by how different it is than the understanding they originally had during the hiring process. A board member, pastor, or church member must understand what they are agreeing to by becoming a part of that particular church body, then be willing to abide by it even if things become difficult. If it does become too difficult, it is better to find another church than to be the cause of conflict that will injure the body of Christ. The cause of church conflict, forced resignation of pastors, and church splits is usually not a form of government, it's the behavior of people.
When should a pastor/ leader be confronted?
Every pastor should be open to discussion about decisions he has made. There is nothing wrong with a board member or member of the church talking to a pastor to receive clarification about things that are troubling them or to voice an opinion. But there are those time when serious accusations are being made against a pastor. How this is handled is of utmost importance for the sake of the body as well as the pastor.
First several questions must be answered. Has the pastor/leader committed a crime? Has the pastor/leader fallen into moral failure, (adultery, or criminal behavior) Are there two or three witnesses to confirm this? According to the governmental structure of the church, (constitution/bylaws), what is the scope of the pastor/leaders authority? Has the pastor/leader operated within the stated scope of his authority?
If the pastor/leader has committed a crime, or fallen morally, there are at least two independent witnesses, or has operated outside the scope of his authority, then it is right to confront him and serious action may need to be taken. But there is a proper and Biblical way of doing it. You must go to him in a spirit of humility with the goal of restoration. Very often those doing the confronting come in a spirit of punishment. Any human being will find it difficult to accept correction from someone they can sense wants to cause them harm. If the pastor/leader refuses, and can not be restored then, the confrontation must go to the next level. This probably will include asking him to step down from his leadership position.
What's the best approach to resolving church conflict?
Our objective is to encourage pastors and church members to take an honest look at what God says about church conflict. We should address conflict issue from the following assumptions:
1. Start with the perspective that most people in the church do want to walk with and please
God.
2 Most church conflict is the result of a lack of understanding or communication.
3. A hand on a shoulder is better than a finger in the face.
4. Most church conflict can be resolved under the right circumstances and spiritual atmosphere.
5. Prevention of conflict is easier than resolving it.
6. Every situation is different, so God must be allowed to direct exactly how to be effective in
each conflict setting.